6 months full of blessings

Today Brandon and Katelyn are six months old. At least that’s their official age. Because they came three months early we often go by their “adjusted” age when looking at developmental milestones. It is funny how things like free time and sleep seem like such a distant memory but at the same time it is hard to believe that our babies are six months old. It is amazing when we look back and see how blessed we have been. There are times when it seems very overwhelming to have a second set of twins. I find myself thinking about how much easier one baby would be to take care of. However, I’m very happy to have both of them and I wouldn’t give them up for anything. A doctor recently told us that, because Amy has been sensitized, most likely we’ll never be able to have more children that will be able to love us back. When I think about this I realize that having babies two at a time may have been the only way for us to have all of our kids.

In between the chaos, when I’m holding these very cute babies (this happens often when they are both sleeping at once) the thought runs through my mind that I must love my kids more than any other parent. I quickly contradict myself and think that every parent may love their children as much as I do and most likely they all have these same thoughts. It seems arrogant to think that other parents aren’t capable of loving their children as much as I do. Well, the other day when I was having one of the calm moments this same thought again came over me. This time I came to a different conclusion. I have decided that I actually do love my children more than any other parent and there isn’t anything wrong with letting myself believe that this is true. This doesn’t mean that other parents don’t have an incredible amount of love for their children they just couldn’t possibly feel it as much as I do. The only problem with this realization is that it doesn’t seem right to tell the other parents. I should just let them continue believing that they are the ones who love their children the most so lets keep this a secret.

Because the doctors have told us to keep Brandon and Katelyn home and away from the public, we were able to arrange to have the baby blessings that are normally done in church, take place in our home on Sunday. We only have a couple of relatives nearby but a cousin of mine was able to come. One of the nurses who took care of both Brandon and Katelyn came and we also invited a couple of close friends. We had our small group of visitors verify that their families where healthy. They left all of their kids and home. They washed and disinfected their hands when they came in and they didn’t hold Brandon or Katelyn. It was a great experience. It was the first time, in a long time, that we have had so many people in our home. Blake and Derek got a little excited and crazy with so much company and Brandon was a little fussy but everything went well.

On some of the most recent tests we found that Katelyn was low on potassium. The doctor has us feeding her bananas to help her get the extra potassium she needs. She loves the taste of the bananas but we are reminded that there are several reasons why parents don’t typically start feeding a three-month-old baby, solid foods. One reason is that they aren’t very good at the physical act of eating. Katelyn’s tongue starts moving when she tastes the food but it gets in the way at lot more than it helps. It is difficult to get a spoon in her mouth above her tongue. It is very cute to watch but very messy.

Brandon had an appointment with the pediatric ophthalmologist that did his laser surgery yesterday. We knew that there was a good chance that Brandon would have to wear glasses as a young kid but we got some unexpected news. He is near-sighted and he needs glasses right away. We had prepared ourselves for the eventual need for glasses but we were caught off guard when we learned that he’d wear glasses as an infant. I understand that wearing glasses is a very trivial thing when you understand everything Brandon has been through. In fact the ophthalmologist was very, very pleased at the outcome. With glasses, Brandon will be able to see. This is not the case for many babies that get the same eye surgery Brandon had to have. When I stop and think about why I felt this way I realized that I feared that his appearance with glasses would make people assume that he has other challenges. It made me stop and think how parents of children who have disabilities that are visible must feel when they know that people look at their babies and make judgments and likely even say things that might be hurtful. I know that I shouldn’t worry about this and I should just be grateful that he only needs glasses but it just seems hard not to feel anxious.

I also know that glasses will be one of Brandon’s defining features. He wont be the kid with big eyes or the kid with blonde hair, he will be the kid with glasses. We are going to have to work hard to not make him ever feel that wearing glasses is a bad thing. I already realize that this is going to be tough. Even the few people we told about it today have the natural reaction and say things like “that’s too bad” or “Oh, how sad.” Our challenge during his childhood will be to help Brandon feel confident so that wearing glasses doesn’t bother him.